Lifting the fog of fear.

A few weeks ago I had another opportunity to do some great work with myself. I have committed to being true to my feelings and not stuff them anymore...easier said than done as this is a lifetime's worth of learning that I'm working on undoing. Reality bites, as it is plain HARD! And I still sometimes choke on my words, afraid of losing control and show the world that I am weak and vulnerable, that I still hurt inside when I tap into my pain. In one exercise I was challenged to ask the group I was working with to ignore me for a period of one hour while we were going for lunch together. At first I was joking and reminding them to step up and ignore me. The natural tendency is to stop and look at someone when we're being talked to, which they did. But before long they all got very good at playing and I got to face my own pain. Oh, what a joy....NOT!!! I did come face to face with my innermost fears and I realized that I've carried this in my body for a very long time, as various images from different times of my life came to me as I sat in my stuff and let my emotions play out. It was interesting, because in addition to being in my pain I was also the observer of it. Two different parts; the ego was in the pain and the soul observed it. It is such an amazing experience; to be the active doer and the observer at the same time. My ego was hurting, while my soul was celebrating. I was healing a part of my soul that had been disconnected and the reconnection was liberating. I truly believe that in order to open our hearts we have to face and let go of our fears. And just peeking at them does not count....no lasting change can be achieved that way. It's the same as reading about an adventure versus going on it. Which one has the most impact? Love is letting go of fear. It is true. After feeling the intense pain in my body on that day, to the point of my abdomen aching, cramping and throbbing so much that despite some heavy doses of advil I could hardly sleep that night, my body shifted. At first my focus had been external, but as I sat in my experience and pain (both physical and emotional) my focus turned inward, and I tapped into the pain of my old experiences, and it was raw. Fortunately, my desire to heal and grow was stronger than my fears and as the dust started to settle I felt lighter. My heart had opened up more...to myself and to the world around me.

After this experience I can honestly say I'm excited for me. I did something very challenging as I played hard and faced some of my greatest pain and took back my own power. The subconscious is so strong that without facing these stored memories they are the drivers in our lives. According to Dr. Bruce Lipton the subconscious is millions of times stronger than our conscious mind so without facing our stuff, our odds for success are pretty slim. Thus the importance of "going there"...where we don't want to go...with ourselves. Lifting the fog of fear is truly liberating!!!

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” -Unknown

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”
-Unknown

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”
-Eleanor Rosevelt