The Englishman.

Last summer when I was at home visiting I decided to take the scenic route home from Tromsø. At the ferry stop I was the fifth car in line for the ferry as it took off....FULL! So I had to wait for almost two hours for the next ferry to arrive. In my rush to catch the ferry I had passed a few cyclists on their bikes. They all had some luggage packed on their bikes and I felt a sting as I passed them. It looked like such an amazing experience. And there I was rushing along the road past the most amazing scenery, going too fast to even notice most of it.
As I was sitting on the rocks enjoying the beautiful afternoon, the Englishman came riding up on his bike, slowly and peacefully. It was a beautiful sight. I watched him from afar, wondering what his story was; what brought him up to this corner of the world. Definitely not a ride for the faint of heart. After a while I went down from the rocks, and slowly walked up to him. It was almost like he was waiting for me because he struck up conversation before I had a chance to. It was an interesting sight; a man about 50 years old, wearing casual hiking clothes and smoking his pipe. His story was even more interesting. It was now early July and this man had been riding his bike for almost four months; from England to France, Belgium, Holland, Germany, Denmark, Poland, Estland, Latvia, Lithuania, Russia and now Norway. His goal was to make it to North Cape. This he had accomplished about mid June. So now he was "cruising" back to Bergen, from where he was to catch the ferry back to Newcastle, and then bike home. I wondered what had motivated him to do a trip like this; biking about 60 kilometres a day for months on end. He had gotten so used to sleeping outdoors that when he on occasion would get a room, he would miss the hard ground. His stories about his travel experiences were amazing! Now the ferry had arrived and we needed to get ready to board so we agreed to have a drink together on the ferry. I was curious and I needed to find out what motivated him to do this. Finally I was enlightened; his wife had had an affair and left him for her new partner. He was totally devastated and needed to get far away from her. He sold his business (potatoes) and decided to go to the North Cape. He thought that the trip would help him heal his wounds. My next question was direct: "Did it?" "NO, not yet", and now he was less than a month away from being back home again. The interesting thing was that this man had chosen to escape, hoping that time and distance would heal the wounds. But, it would turn out to be harder than that. The important part of working through the pain had been missed, and there he now was on the ferry with me, emotional and still troubled by his experience.

The Englishman had taken time to be with himself; he documented and wrote in his journal, but did not work through his stuff. I, on the other hand, had been diligently working though my stuff, but not taking the time out to truly be quiet and present. Neither of our processes were complete. We had each done portions of it, and at the point of meeting realized that we both had other parts to complete. No wonder I was feeling at a loss when I drove away and saw him on his bike in my rearview mirror.

Thoughts.

A few more thoughts about the journey. Ever since I started this process I've been working on getting to know and love myself. Who am I? What makes me happy, sad, scared, excited; or plainly just want to get up in the morning, ready to take on the day with a smile on my face? I can truly say that instead of being my own best friend I was extremely good at being my own worst enemy. I'd kick myself over and over for simple mistakes and the concept of not being good enough was simply a statement of fact for me. Believing that I deserve true happiness and an opportunity to shine in this world was a far fetched idea. Yet, the inner knowing was grinding away at me and my body started to speak out; loud and clear. So I finally used the inner strength that I've been blessed with and left a marriage that was unhealthy and draining . With three young boys and still an opportunity for a good life I chose my freedom; one that came at a steep price. But despite the cost it was worth it. It is true that the hardest times are the richest times; the times where one grows the most as a human being. I have learned some fundamental things which have changed my life forever. I know when I'm operating from fear and when I'm operating from love; when my ego is in the driver seat and when I'm having a higher perspective. I know there is a different way to be and to live, one that supports me and everyone else, one that sees the perfection in all situations and the messages and lessons presented, one that knows that gratitude for it all is the key to making the shift and find peace happiness in the midst of all the caos of life as it unfolds for me. I also know that I'm human and make lots of mistakes all the time....just to keep me being a student of life forever.

My Journey.

This is what it is all about; my journey-to connect with my self, with my innermost true essence. it sounds simple and maybe it is, but the truth is; it is NOT easy. However it is almost like a pandora's box: once it is opened and the journey has started, one cannot go back and the box won't close. So here we go; on the long and winding road of self discovery. This road will take me to France and Spain this summer if all my plans come together. There I will do the "Camino de Santiago" or the road to Santiago. It is a pilgrimage that for me will start in St. Jean Pied de Port in southern France. Frome there it crosses the Pyrenees into Spain where the route goes west to Santiago de Compostela. It is a trek just short of 800km. I'll have about four weeks to walk the distance; plenty of time to spend with myself. And enough time to disconnect from the day to day cares and concerns. I want to truly be with myself and walk off the last residue of the past challenges and tribulations that at times have gotten the best of me and sucked me dry. Life has been a serious adventure and I have been challenged at the core of who I am. In the middle of all this I have worked on becoming my own best friend, to give myself all the same loving support and care that I offer my friends. It sounds easier than it is, but it is critical on the road to healing, peace and happiness. And what better way to be with your own best friend than to go on a road trip for a month. From everything I've read; it really does not matter what we think our purpose of the camino is. It has its own purpose in store for us. I have been drawn toward this for a while and now I will to trust my instinct and the journey and see where it takes me.