Estella....my first Camino lesson.

We arrived in Estella Thursday afternoon and I felt pretty good about managing to stay on track with my walking. After doing our daily routine of showering, getting organized with laundry and a little rest, Ilkka, Randi and I went out for some food. Estella is a beautilful little town with 15,ooo people. After getting a recommendation to go to restaurant Casanova we started looking. First we checked around the main large square, then the smaller suare. Finally we saw the sign in a small street in the middle. Starving we went in, only to be turned away because it was full. It was now about 2:45pm and right in the middle of siesta. So we sat down back outside at the town square for a drink. It was full everywhere and we were starving. Not good! After a while I suggested we go back and check again. Randi was not very optimistic, but humored me, as did Ilkka. When we got into the restaurant again there was ONE table available...for us! And so we got to have a much needed meal at restaurant Casanova. Full and relaxed were were back on the streets again about 1 1/2 hours later, ready for a nap. On the way back to the Albergue we came by a red cross center for pilgrims. They were offering free (donation only) medical help for pilgrims; for all ailments, but with blisters and muscle strains as the majority of concerns. Randi was quick to enter as she was struggling with heat rashes all over her feet and it was a serious concern for her. Ilkka and I thought about it for a moment, wondering if our concerns were "big enough". But, in the end we both sat down and joined Randi in the que. So there we were all three, waiting for some help and reassuringwords that our little ailments were not goingto be a serious preoblem and that we´d be fine to keep on walking. When Randi was finished and ready to go shopping for her drugs, it was my turn and I got to sit down on the bed and explain all my symptoms. I mentioned that I had been truggling a bit with my legs as well as my bllisters, and that did it. "Lay down and lets check things out" was the order. So, my Spanish doctor, Jose Mary, kept asking me questions that the volunteer, Simone fram Brazil, kept translating. I answered to the best of my abilites and before long he looked at me, stopped what he was doing and said " Why are you so sad? Your heart is heavy. You need to rest! You do not walk tomorrow. You stay here and rest, and get a massage." "I would like to give you a massage right now if that is ok by you", he said. Simone said she would set the massage for thenext morning up with Miguel as well. Before I knew it I was on the table and Jose Mary was tending to the sore muscles in my legs. The conversation was very direct and Simone translated beautifully. Jose Mary told me that the Camino was not just about walking. "You can walk anywhere", he said. "You don´t need to go to Santiago to walk. The camino is about going inside and fill your hear. With a full hear the camino will be full, but with an empty hear the camino will be empty". Befoer I knew it tears were coming down my face, gently, but they would not stop. Jose Mary, Simone and Mireia (the other Spanish volunteer) kept stroking my head and kissing my forehead. They gave me the most beautiful gift of tender, loving care and I was literally speechless. I just let myself go and gratefully soaked up this gift that I was given. After about along time (about 1 1/2 hrs.) Jose was happy. He said that I must have my massage (booked for 9am), then go to the local salt water poll to saok my feet, rest and come back and see them the next day. With a promise to stay, a map in my hands and after hugs and kisses from all of them I was back out on the street. I was overwhelmed by the experience and it would take me days to process it all. The next day I did as I was told, but only after saying my goodbyes to my travel friends and having a visit with Stewar and Valerie, who were waiting for the post office to open up. I was doing the same thing because I had decided the night before to lighten my physical load and trust in the camino. I was sending home my underlay and travel pillow. About one kilo to say goodbye to and a commitment to trust that the camino will look after me all the way through. It felt good to wrap up the stuff and send it on its way. We had to leave the Albergue at 7am for them to clean it. So there were were on the bench outsdide chatting away as the other peregrinos were moving along past us, finally quieting down to a peaceful morning moment. Valerie was asking me more about why I was doing the camino. I told her about the divorce and the need to close that chapter of my life, but with peace in my heart. She told me that she was trained in the church to do councelling and asked if it was ok by me if she paryed for me and my children. I said that it would be nice, and before I knew it she was praying out loud, with my hands in hers. Valerie was amazing and expressed my wishes for closure in a beautiful way. Thank you!!! After that we went to find the post office. It did not open until 9:30am so we said our goodbyes for now and I headed back for my massage. When I got back to the red cross Miguel was already waiting, even though I was early. He does not speak English so we did not talk much, but he managed to make a few points to me. The massage was great and Miguel finished it with insence and sound cleansing (he used the bowl). "Rest!!!", he said firmly, and "let the sun warm your body". I left the clininic and went across the bridge again, looking for the post office. It was open and with some welcomed help from a local man who spoke English I successfully managed to send my parcel away. Across the street I found a bank and exchanged some traveller´s cheques. Then I was on my way to find the salt water pool. Before finding it I ended up ata little bar in the park right across from it. However, there was no bridge there so I had to walk around the park to get to it. I decided to take a moment, and had a drink and some treats. As I sat there a song was playing and the lyrics were "I will live again". The symbolism was not lost on me. I sat there for a moment thinking about what was happening inside me and saw the connection. For as long as I was carrying pain in my heart I was not truly living. And I need to heal my pain so thatI can embrace life and truly live. I finished up and went over to the pool, where my feet enjoyed the cold nurturing water for a while and I soaked in the sun. Later, after some fopod and rest II went back to the clinic. Simone saw me and directed me to come straight in, passed all the people waiting. Inside, all four of them, Jose Mary, Miguel, Simone and Mireia all gave me hugs and kisses before asking how my day had been. they smiled and looked at my face saying I looked much better than yesterday. We chatted for a bit, then Jose Mary checked out my legs angain. He said with the help of Simone, who was translating again, that he would like to give me a massage the next morning before I walked again, 8 am at his regular clinic. I was not sure whether to acceptas I had it in my head to get an early start. I had already stayed one day there and was feeling concerned about the distance I had to make up. Again we said our goodbyes andthey showered me with hugs and kisses. Simone gave me their address so I can send them some words and maybe pictures when I get home. After this I was tired and had a quiet evening, pondering what to do the next morning. The camino will give you what you need... I decide to sleep on it.

The next morning I got caught in the walking frenzy, wanting my early start. But before long I was debating withmyself whether this was the right thing to do...eventually chosing to turn around and trusting the camino and the process and accept the gift I was offered. Jose Mary was waiting and he gave me a last treatment for my body and soul. By 10 am I was finally on my way, thanking God for the angels he had sent my way in Estella.