Almost there!!!

Ok, I finally have access to a decent computer so I want to give a quick update. It is late, and past my bedtime, but since Marit and I are staying in a hotel tonight, I´m off the hook a bit. The last day I wrote I was disillusioned and upset, as I desperately wanted to keep walking, but my pain was a serious concern. It is still a concern, by the way. The second day in Sarria was better and to my surprise my Swedish friends arrived quite early and kept me company. Marit got in early as well and all four of us had a great afternoon and evening together, with picnic lunch and supper together. The albergue was different from most albergues as it offered various nice areas for people to hang out, as well as a good kitchen. The next morning I was walking again, 22.9km to Portomarin. It was a true test in pain endurance and perseverance. But, thanks to my three friends, who encouraged me and kept me company, I made it. Still, I was not sure how many more days I could take of that kind of pain for hours on end. After a shower, some ice and rest I felt better and decided to walk one more day. The next day Marit and I walked 26.1km to Palas De Rei and to my surprise it went quite a bit better than the day before, when I had sent everyone ahead because I was so slow. Two days of walking and I felt encouraged. Yesterday we switched things up and Gosta and walked together, letting Marit and Emil walk on their own, at their normal pace. After 11 hours of walking and slowly making our way we arrived at the destination for the day for Marit and I, Ribadiso. Marit approached us with a grave concern on her face. First of all; we were LATE, leaving her to conclude that I had had a rough day. Second of all; we were half an hour late for the last bed. The albergue was full. So she had called Emil to find out what the availability was where they were staying in Arzua, 3km ahead. He told her that there was plenty of room. So it was an easy decision; keep walking. After twelve hours on the go, with an exhausting day for me, we finally arrived in Arzua at 6pm. My dear friend Gosta was so patient with me and helped me through my toughest day on the camino. I was not only in physical pain, but there were other processes taking place as well. He knew that some of the pain in my foot was not caused by the tendonitis, rather the tendonitis being an expression of it. So, he encouraged me to come face to face with it. At one point he told me that I was not to talk at all for a while and try to listen to my pain, feel it and hear what it was telling me. Intuitively I knew that there was some truth to what he was saying, so I decided to humor him and do it. Before long we arrived at a church where the priest come out and greeted us, inviting us in for a stamp and to see the church. We looked at each other...no talking...and went in. After getting our stamps we went inside the church to take a moment. And that´s when it happened. My foot became excruciatingly painful and all I could do was breathe. After a few minutes Gosta asked me if I was ready to walk, but I could not get a sound out. He understood that something was up and told me that we would stay a moment longer. Before long I felt I was about to faint and had to lie down. I don´t know how long we were there but at one point Gosta asked if he should get me to a hospital. I just shook my head. Finally I was ok enough to get out of there and we walked over to the bar across the street. It was already after 3pm and we had not eaten since breakfast. But, my stomach was weak and all I could do was drink water. Gosta had a well deserved lunch and I had a much needed rest, and a foot massage. Thank you, Gosta!!! While we were there we saw that the closing ceremony for the olympics were on. I have not followed the olympics much, and I don´t understand a thing that is said on TV as everything is in Spanish. But, I was glad the olympics are over and that the final part of my camino is without that distraction. After a long rest we started walking again, but I felt weaker than I´ve ever been this entire month. While we sat at the bar Gosta asked me again if I understood what the pain was all about. He is a healer as well and knew, but was not about to tell me, as this was something I needed to connect with myself. I told him what I had felt and he gave me the biggest smile since we met six days ago. BINGO! I had connected with the source of my pain and it had been a battle with my body that at all costs wanted to keep itself safe, and keep things locked up inside. But, I did it and I knew I had connected to something so deep and painful inside that my body had been prepared to do anything not to connect with that pain. Time to keep walking. I was painfully slow. Suddenly as we came down a hill we saw an old brick building acoss a little creek and Marit sitting outside, waiting. When the albergue was full I knew I needed to keep walking and Gosta knew that I could not stop for too long. I was not strong enough to pick it up again if I did. So, while Marit went inside to pack up her things we started walking again, knowing we had three more kilometres to go and then we´d be able to rest. Marit caught up with us after a while, and together we finished the walk yesterday. For the past 3km Gosta showed me that he´s an expert in distractions. He knew some things about my life and asked every question possible to keep me talking and thinking about positive things. After 12 hours we finally arrived, 29.4km progress. But I was done. I managed to get myself cleaned up as everybody was hungry and needed to eat. We walked down the street to look for an open restaurant, and after a little walk we succeded. Usually the resturants are close and easy to find. But not last night. I was so out of sorts I could not even fathom how I was going to have the strengt to walk back. And, I could not imagine being able to eat. After a little bit I found out why. I ran to the bathroom and purged. My body released some of this physical built up pain that I had connected with. I went back to the table and explained what had happened, excused myself and went back to bed. As crazy as it may seem I was relieved. I had connected to my purpose earlier on in the camino, but I had not realized that the physical and emotional pain needed to be released as well. My physical pain was an invitation for me to go there, and I did. I had one if not the most restful sleeps last night. In contrast, three nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart physically hurting so bad it felt like is was being squeezed. For two nights I was fewerish and finally last night I rested. My body needed a chance to purge this pain and it did. Today Marit was my loyal and loving companion on the camino. I was hurting, but I managed. And I wanted to get further than the guide suggested as I want a relaxing and short day tomorrow. The first part of the day is alwas better for me and I want to finish without too much pain. So we slowly and steadily walked along and after nine hours we arrived in Lavacolla. We walked about 30km today, and we have less than 10km left to Santiago. I will arrive there as planned on foot tomorrow, even if I have to crawl, which I won´t. We have enough¨"walker´s candy" to help me cross the finish line in style. And we have enough time.

" Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened."

-Helen Keller