The camino wins...and it is a wise teacher, whether I like it or not...

Yesteday morning I got up at 5:30am, and by 6 I was walking, with my head lamp on. In this small village without any street or other ouside lights it was pitch black. I was walking behind a Spanish family that I´ve seen on and off since Roncesvalles. We got to the road and had lost the arrows. By now a German woman had joined us, looking for a sign. The group decided to back track to the Albergue, while I decided to find the bar and go from there. The German lady followed me, and soon we had found the markers and were on our way. It was a tough day; one that will be remembered as a painful day on the camino. I kept trying to find something positive to think about the situation as I took one step after the other in agony. I finally could think of two thoughts that helped me; mind over matters and at least I am able to walk. At one point I started singing just to distract myself from my pain. After about five and a half hours I arrived in Manilla de las Mulas, where I made my way to the Albergue. I asked the hospitalero if there was somewhere I coud get some ice for my leg. He asked to have a look at it and I showed him my taped up, swollen leg. He stood up and went behind me where he placed his hands on my shoulders. He said that this is an old problem, that I had had it for quite a while and that it is due to three causes; wrong lacing of my boots (which he demonstrated to me), too fast walking, and not enough water during my walk. "Now you need to walk very slowly, no more fast", he said and demonstrated with his fingers. Ouch!!! My natural stride is fast and this is not an easy thing for me to do. But, I will do it! After a bit he told me to go and take off my tape, let the foot relax a bit in the sun and come back at 6pm for him to give me a treatment. I thanked him and went to find a bed for the night. After a good lunch next door and some rest I was back in his office by 6pm. Just before 6 pm I went to check on my clothes that were drying in the court yard, and to my surprise I found Laureen sitting there, smiling at me. We had a quick chat and she told me they had had some weird excitement since we separated. Instead of their accomodation being this peaceful, tranquil place (which their guide book had said), it had turned out to be more like a ghost town. There were hardly any pilgrims there, maybe six in all. And their accomodation was not clean. Sylvia,who now was aware of the bug issue had seen bugs crawling in the beds the following morning and could not stand being there any longer (and it was only five am). They heard screams from one of the other pilgrims, who was in agony. They just wanted to leave as the place felt weird and somewhat scary, but could not find themselves to walk away without helping the man. After much back and forth they got the man medical help. He himself was not even conscious, but his fellow peregrinos did not leave until they made sure the man was taken care of. To me that speaks volumes of the characters of my fellow peregrinos, including the ones I do not know but who helped him together with my American friends (a German couple and a Spanish guy). Before they left medical personnel came and brought the man to the hospital.

I had dinner last night with my friends and walked with them to Leon this morning. Correction, I walked with Sylvia, as Lauren with her natural quick stride walked ahead. We had a tea along the way amd when we got to the albergue we said our final goodbyes for this time. They are taking the train to Astoria so that they can walk the rest of the way and make it to Santiago by the 23rd, catching their flight back to Paris. Bon Camino Lauren and Sylvia! It has been a pleasure to get to know you!
As for me, I got in line for a bed at the albergue. I had walked the last 1/3 of the way today in agony and was worn. The camino is teaching me a serious lesson and I have not been the smartest student. What I was told last night was similar to what they told me in Estella. I NEED TO SLOW DOWN! The other hospitalero last night said that I looked sad. And she brought up the point of me walking fast. "How is this showing up in your life at home?", she saked me. At this point I was getting annoyed. What with all these comments about me being sad? I knew I was triggered and that there was something here for me to learn, but I was in no mood to learn anything more..at least not at this point. I just wanted to feel better and get a break from all this pain and emotional stuff. If I could have spoken Spanish I would have gone over and joined my fellow peregrinos for some wine, good conversations and laughs. But, this is not my journey, and for a moment I was sick of my serious purpose and wanted to escape it all. But my foot is attached and it is talking to me. And I do need to listen.

"Things don´t change themselves, but we do."
(This is what was written on a card I drew from a deck in the office.)

"It is your thoughts that make you sad or happy, poor or rich."

-Christian Brandstetter

"Your body is your garden and your will is your gardener."

-William Shakespeare

I am learning to tend to my garden in a kind and loving way. And I am aware that I need to connect with the messages it is sending me, otherwise the camino will keep teaching me the hard way. I am tired of learning my lessons this way. It is painful and exhausting.