Perfectionism.

I've just had a visit with a friend of mine and the topic of perfectionism came up. Having high standards for ourselves is a good thing, but when they are so high that we continually fall short of achieving them and we view our performances in a black/white or right/wrong way, we end up falling short. We're not perfect, nor are our performances perfect! Even more, we will never be perfect, nor achieve perfect result, thus setting ourselves up for "failure" and disappointment. It is a viscious cycle and we'll never win. How do I know? Well, I'm simply speaking from experience. The cool part for me happened when I learned to find perfectionism in every moment and every experience; when the hardest moments became the greatest opportunities/blessings for learning and for beautiful insights into myself because of the emotions that were triggered. Arguing with reality is a losing battle that drains us of our precious energy and leaves us depleted and unhappy. Accepting reality allows us to make peace with what is and focus on things that we can do something about rather than things that are out of our control. It is huge shift, one that helps us take back our power and restore our sense of well being. When did we forgot that doing our best was good enough? And, why do we let other people's standards and opinions override our own? Once we recognize that we choose to do this to ourselves we can do something to change it and take our power back. "Everything I do I do for myself" is a saying with a lot of wisdom. I keep reminding myself of this when I get caught up in my stuff and need to ground myself. Another question I ask myself is "What is in it for me?". These questions help me sift through my stuff and see things for what they are, and thereby help me figure out whether I'm focusing my thoughts and actions on things that serve me or not. With my answers I can again take action to bring myself back on track. Small steps.

Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right. It has nothing to do with high standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. ~ Jennifer White